Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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