R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I am available for nakedness
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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