Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator

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(864): View more from South Carolina

A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!

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(631): View more from New York

you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.

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(847): View more from Illinois

after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof

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(206): View more from Washington

Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty

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(630): View more from Illinois

The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"

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