Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
