Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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