opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
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