Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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