We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
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Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
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Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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