That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
