my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You have to summon your inner elephant
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Is Oprah even human
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
