hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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