thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize