I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
