You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
