so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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