I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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