All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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