everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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