and you said cock pushups were impossible
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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