Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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