consequently i now know what mace tastes like
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
