Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize