he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
