9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
