i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
