It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
