I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I need moral support for this bender
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
