i just wanna soil my oats bro
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
