hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
