I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
