It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
