but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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