we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
