hotel room ftw
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
