We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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