We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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