sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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