Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
