"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
