We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize