gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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