That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
