yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
