It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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