ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize