If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
