Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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