Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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