i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
