We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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