And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
