spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
