Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
