You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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