My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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