Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
